Written 2013
Not something we usually think about – but when Kathryn – who then was known by her middle name – Skye – was at her worst and dying, she still had a soul. That part of her was intact. That part of her was what I responded to. She had come to me – the problem solver, the teacher of healers…and as my daughter, she would have done this for a reason – in answer to any aspect of – ‘why me?’ – was the answer ‘why not me’?
We grew together.
She was birthed, breastfed and loved as though she was whole.
She did not have a life prognosis that I would have ever imagined.
To be ‘blind, deaf, massively epileptic and massively cerebrally palsied
& profoundly intellectually impaired.’
‘Do not expect anything of her’.
‘Live each day at a time’.
Why did I not?
Had I stayed in the heart connection – and truly just loved her for all her spirit was – we may have had a different ride together. Instead ‘Heather fix it’ chose to fight – and this is the story of the battle; sometimes for her life, sometimes for her spirit and sometimes for my sanity.
The pictures along the top are my beautiful daughter coming out of herself. Profound autism was not foreseen on the scan of her brain at age 6 weeks. Autism was our silent stalker, coming along for the ride as she emerged from the coma and the drugged haze. Or not as you may read. It started showing itself by 6 months of age so strongly that I had diagnosed her as a baby. In the late ’80’s who else knew of autism?
I write this at the beginning of her 27th year.
She may well be the happiest of all my children.
She is surely the most loved.
By the most people.
She has touched the most hearts.
Into the void we go
