we begin
The Tasman Sea separated us all
Aunty Katie speaks
In 1989 all 3 sisters, grandmother and cousins spent an afternoon in Christchurch, at the place we called home as children. It was a time for all our children then, to meet one another and interact.
What I remember was Kathryn seemed to just fit in with the rest of her cousins, running around the fruit trees and lawn having fun. It was wonderful, just a typical afternoon spent with family.
Unfortunately Kathryn and her cousins have grown-up now without the knowledge of each other, and it is sad that their lives will always be missing my oldest sister’s daughter.
Keren – Kathryn’s younger cousin – hidden by Gandma, as she was being held by her mum – you can see a hand. I was holding Kathryn the same way.
2023 – At the age her Aunty Heather was in this picture
Thanks for sharing the beautiful video of Kathryn. I cried a little bit – just so lovely to see her responding to you and finding some clarity/calm.
I have put this video clip in here.
It may NOT make sense to anyone who does not know her. She is very protective of her space. She does not handle anyone and especially no touch or moisture.
KEREN SPEAKS – I ‘m not sure I can offer much profundity about being her cousin. We didn’t have a lot to do with her, my parents didn’t offer much in the way of understanding her- because they didn’t, and I remember avoiding her as much as I could because her erratic movements and vocalisations frightened me. Just an all round lack of understanding. From my visit with Kathryn in Whangarei, I could feel her watching me, working out who I was/why I was there”.
Ryan – her youngest brother
When he was 15 (2009) – written in inimitable teenage fashion . .. at my behest last year – to have him think on it all . . .)
i think the impact Kathryn had on your life is huge. having to deal with her 24/7 would suck cow nipples. i don’t think many people could handle that in their life and you are probably a very different person because of it than you would have been if you hadn’t had Kathryn. i think that the impact on my brothers would have been that they always had to look after themselves or Kathryn because you couldn’t be mum for 3 children. so in a way they didn’t get as much parenting from you as they could have because of Kathryn. i think that if you didn’t have Kathryn your life would have been a lot easier in the fact that you could have raised your sons easier and you wouldn’t have had me. which would certainly make it heaps easier than it is now. You probably wouldn’t have needed to continue being an acupuncturist or write so many books. so all up having Kathryn did some good things and bad things so you can’t say it was all bad, i mean, you wouldn’t have met Duncan if you hadn’t had Kathryn there’s a plus
My sister Margaret (2009)
In late 1994, Heather asked me to look after Kathryn for a night or two while she was pregnant with her 4th child, Ryan. At the time I had 4 daughters; a 9 year old, a 7 year old and 4yr old twins. Kathryn was 8 years old and nothing could have prepared me for the helplessness that I felt in dealing with her. She was a complete unknown to me and I was pretty scared. From getting her food ready, changing her nappies and keeping an eye on her while she made strange noises and did things that my own daughters never did, to trying to get her to sleep so I could go to bed myself.
Nothing I did seemed to make any difference but fortunately Josh (Ty) was also staying with us so it fell to him in the end to calm her enough for her to sleep, at around 4.30am. To me, it seemed a lot to ask of a young boy, but he was used to her ways and I was out of options. I guess it is the unknown that scared me the most. Getting her ready for school and dropping her off was also very new. Kathryn seemed to be in a different world that wasn’t governed by a clock. I was very pleased to be able to let a carer take over.
